Q: I'm 28 and have been in quite a few relationships. I have been in some serious ones and some flings, but have not found someone I click with enough to go the distance. One of my, if not the main, goal in my life is to have a family one day. I travel a lot for work right now and it's hard to meet someone and make things work enough to commit to someone within the short amount of time I'm in a specific location. The reason I do what I do for work is to save enough money to provide for my future family when the time comes, but I worry that this job will prevent me from meeting someone to give me that chance. I know as a guy, I have more time to start a family and have kids than a lot of women do, but I don't want my time to run out. To meet someone special and build a relationship and to get married and have kids will take ~5 years or so. My question is, what path should I take as my time begins to run out? Should I give up on the money and focus on finding someone of should I continue to do this and work and hope I find the perfect situation? I refuse to settle for anything less than what I want out of life, but I'm also a realistic person. I may have to give up some things to get what I want... I have always done what I thought was right, but I'm at a crossroads here in my late 20s. I'm a strong believer that I have to create my own happiness and that it won't come knocking on my door. I never know who I will meet and what my future holds and there are no guarantees in life, but I can create the environment around me that will give me my best chance to be successful. What advice would you give me that would help me be successful in my career and with my future family?
J- First off I think it is amazing that you are a single woman who is looking out for her future. So many women are just so eager to get the payoff without putting in the work and it is GREAT that you are still out there working for what you deserve. I have been exactly where you are, wanting a family but found myself not having the time to meet someone to get there. I wouldn't give up on the hard work to meet someone. The best thing you can do right now is to use your circumstances to your advantage. The down time you do have, keep your eyes open. With that being said, think of every day as an opportunity to meet someone. Simple errands could turn into a potential. You'd be amazed who you meet at the grocery store or the gym. One thing I always have told my girl friends is make yourself available when you go out. Sometimes when you go out try not to have a huge possey of gal pals swarming you,as it can be intimidating for a man to approach you. I know it sounds nuts but try to make it goal to go out solo every now and again. I'd go to the mall and when I sat in the food court that's usually when someone would come sit down and say hi. Also, have you considered online dating? Believe it or not, that's how I ended up meeting my now husband. We met on plentyoffish.com and we're now married with a daughter. I was hesitant at first, I won't lie but it seems to have worked! Long story short: Don't give up who you are and what makes you happy to find someone. The right person will be able to work with your busy schedule and you will be glad you held out for someone you deserve. Don't let anyone, not even yourself take that away from you!
